Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

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I'm also keen to read Leslie Irvine's Codependent Forevermore, which is an even-handed critique of CoDA and the recovery moment in general. If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book.

We adopt a policy of keeping our hands off other people's rsponsibilities and tend to our own instead. Dabar, be Karpmano dramos trikampio ar Kubler-Ross gedulo stadijų, analitikos mažai, istorijų mažai, tik žmonių citatos apie tai, kaip jiems blogai gyvent su priklausomais žmonėmis.So grateful to have this book recommended to me - and I highly recommend it to all the fixers, people pleasers, and tired caregivers looking for better balance! Although I wasn't directly affected by addictive issues in the family, growing up a triplet created some of the exact same self-sacrificing behavioral patterns that are talked about in this book. There are many references to alcoholism, which wasn't relevant to my situation, but since the advice is based on the author's personal and professional experience, this makes sense. It’s a one-day-at-a-time process that can be quite exciting – when we take steps toward recovery, we feel an instant burst of freedom.

This inspirational book gives the reader an inside look at the miraculous phenomenon that occurs after loss -- the being welcomed into a new of sorts, a circle of people who have lived through similar grief and pain, whether it be the loss of a child, a spouse, a career, or even one's youth. In time, you’ll learn to better cope with your problems, trust yourself, and actually begin to feel your own feelings instead of someone else’s. First, the codependent is essentially a victim of somebody else's addictive or destructive behavior. With practical advice and real-life examples, it offers tools for building healthier relationships and finding personal fulfillment. Although a lot of the book does seem like it focuses on helping the codependent wives of alcoholics, there is just as much support for husbands who fall into the same patterns of servitude to their spouse's disease.The best line is these two books is that codependents do "all the wrong things for all the right reasons. I also think Beattie's manner of talking about her God and Christian beliefs ought to be openly qualified and articulated as HERS - it's ok for her to hold those beliefs, but own them honestly in a way that acknowledges that MANY others DO NOT share them. Beattie breaks down unnoticed learned behavior that's passed down through generations, behaviors that are often a result of living with an alcoholic parent or person with dysfunctional coping mechanisms.

She discovered that her husband wasn’t sober; he’d been drinking and lying about it since before their marriage. Beattie recounts how, when she was leading family support groups, she’d ask the members what they were feeling.Even if you do not identify as codependent (and now I know I do not), you may find, as I did, that learning more about codependence helps put family relationships into perspective. They are helping you to "rescue" yourself and stop worrying about the things you can't control, and this book serves as an excellent tool to steer you in the right path. I did weed out the passages I felt really didn't apply - like the 12-step program or the overly religious parts. It’s filled with helpful insights into codependency and outlines some basic tools that people can use to recover. I feel annoyed and disrespected in light of these perspectives being so heavily 'pushed' - from the cover I had no idea that this was so primary to the entire contents of the book.

When the author said she didn't come at this from a scientific background I was willing to overlook that until she got to the traits of codependency.

She wondered why she was the one responsible for all the housework, lawn work, and keeping their life on track? My point is just that I am not critical of 12 Steps on the basis of something flimsy, so by extension, I consider my concerns about this book to be valid and substantial. I figured it would be a good idea to know what they're reading, especially since these clients regard it so highly but seem to be making little progress. I do not agree that any healing is dependent on having a belief in any God, Higher Power or set steps. I've read about other approaches to substance abuse recovery that deal more with what underlies it rather than making it the focus.



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